The world we inhabit is a vast mirror-world, reflecting back to us our collective and personal energies. Where we experience harmony in the world, we are in alignment inside of ourselves. Where we experience great conflict, we are at odds with ourselves.
Our reality is so much more fluid than most of us are ready to accept. I include myself in that statement because I too struggle with embracing the fluidity of life. This fluidity ripples across both the materialized and non-materialized reality. When we focus on the materialized world, our left-brain, analytical-side basks in the rational. When we get a glimpse or breakthrough experience into the non-materialized world, our hearts and souls light up.
Along the way, there can be misguided efforts to reside entirely here or there, but such efforts will always be fruitless because we always exist in the wholeness of the All That Is. The materialized and non-materialized worlds are simply two sides of the same mirror. Our consciousness is always and forever intertwined with both “sides” simultaneously. Indeed, you could say that our very purpose is to hold the two in balance.
This is as wondrous as it is mysterious and confusing. Life often resembles a hall of mirrors. How can we find our way through a place overflowing with seemingly endless illusion and distortion?
One not-so-simple answer is to live a heartful and heart-centered life. To accept ourselves and those we love fully and completely. To become One with ourselves first, which inherently leads us towards Oneness with others.
I visited Taos New Mexico in 2015 for the first time. There I encountered the Taos Mountain.
At first, the encounter was merely visual, one stunning view among so many others. That changed as my brief visit came to an end. As I drove out of Taos, filled with so many mixed and unexpected emotions, the mountain made itself known to me.
Only later would I come to understand that the Taos Mountain has long been believed to be the home of a great spirit, or a great many spirits.
As I left the Taos area, I started thinking about how to get back that way, and soon. For a moment, I wondered what it would be like to live there. In response, it felt as if the Mountain said to me – “Be One Thing”. As if to say – you may return when you are One with Yourself.
And so I set about trying to do just that.
Five years later, I’ve finally broken through to an obvious yet huge piece of awareness. The problem with trying to be one thing is the “trying”.
Trying, I understand now, was a direct expression of several inner beliefs:
- I’m not one thing now.
- I’m not sure I can be one thing.
- It will take effort and action. Doing something different.
As a bit of context, the person I was in 2015 was expending a great deal of energy attempting to live up to (perceived) expectations of a great many roles – father, programmer, healer, artist, dog owner, brother, friend, and the list goes on. I was more than a bit exhausted and stressed. Exhaustion and stress are often signs of inner fragmentation.
I had been feeling especially torn regarding my work. Am I a software developer or a healer? What kind of healer am I if I am writing code all day? How can I just write code knowing what I know now?
From my work with clients, it’s clear this is a very common theme for many of us. One way forward would pay the bills. Another way would feel more meaningful. The two ways always felt at odds with one another. For years, there was a struggle around how to go about either picking one, or weaving the two together.
When I received the Mountain Medicine, “be one thing”, I interpreted that message as the answer. As I heard it then – the message was to stop trying to be so many things to so many people, and just pick one. If I just picked one way forward, I thought everything else would fall into place.
Reflection. Clarity. Focus.
Since that time, I’ve done and experienced a great many things. My practice has deepened in important ways. And just this year, I have gained a new clarity about the nature of my healing abilities.
But perhaps the most fascinating discovery has been that I now hear and feel that message from the Mountain in a whole new way. That medicine has been at work in me throughout the last five years.
Now I understand that what the Mountain was reflecting back to me was NOT the message that I was not whole, or one thing… but simply that I was not yet fully aware of my wholeness. That I was not yet fully accepting my whole self.
The work that was needed had nothing to do with trying to be one role versus another role, but in allowing one Soul to come through and infuse all of what I do, whatever that may be at any given time.
Now I understand that whether I am coding, healing, making art, or walking in the park – I am One when I am open to and connected with my whole self, which is – in turn – connected to and inseparable from the All That Is.
It is not that I have arrived at an awakened, enlightened place, but more so that I have seen and felt it. Or more accurately, I have seen and felt the least distorted version of it to date. I have its signal. I can find my way there, and return more and more often.
To get to this place, I have relied upon my training, practice, and sensitivities. They have allowed me to continually detect my own internal “fault lines”. These are the areas where friction manifests on the surface when imbalanced pressures build up below.
They can also be places where difficulties can arise during phases of growth. Sometimes they need to break wide open in order to allow for that expansion. Other times, they point to areas that need love and attention in order to re-balance. It’s tricky business, to say the least.
In nearly every client session, in one form or another, one message seems to come through repeatedly — acceptance, and especially self-acceptance, will clear the way forward. It will dissolve energy blockages, granting you more direct and conscious access to your own soul’s energy. And it will help you reconnect with lost parts of yourself. Those parts can hold keys, information, and even skills and abilities that can help you achieve what you came here to do.
At this juncture, the analytical mind may ask – what are we talking about here? It may even protest, saying “I do accept myself!”, followed by a long list of all the ways and reasons it thinks it has come to accept itself.
In order to proceed, the analytical mind must be informed that it has done a wonderful job. That the Whole You understands that the analytical mind has walled off these parts of yourself that were overwhelming, or injured, or deemed destabilizing in some other way. You may even want to thank it for doing so.
The analytical mind is an instrument that understands cause and effect, and exercises judgement in all its activities. It is a creature of reason, so things that do not fit its models must be controlled, or hidden (i.e. denied). This part of your mind is great at taking things apart, de-constructing, and separating things out. It is this part of your mind that contributes greatly to any sense that you might have, for example, of being a separate being, isolated in any way from the All That Is.
There are a great many studies out there that can show concrete ways in which the rational / analytical mind will block out even blatant, physical elements in one’s surroundings – if they do not fit expectations. Imagine now what happens to memories, dreams, sensations, and intuitions that do not fit its models?
In effect, I am describing here the manifestation of energy blockages, or imbalances in flow. Fundamentally, they are places where fractures have occurred in the energy flow of a being due to self-abnegation, disavowal and rejection of elements of one’s self.
It’s very important here to understand that who and what you truly are – this wholeness extends way, way beyond the materialized world. What we sense here with the supposed five senses (there are many more) – this is all the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. It is a manifestation, materialization that comes out of a much bigger “space”.
To my heart – it is not the case that you are either “here or there”. You are in both. In fact, even the word “both” is confusing because there is no real separation. It is all One.
This means that even if you achieve certain levels of acceptance about the materialized aspects of your physical life, great difficulties can remain so long as there are imbalances in the flow in the non-materialized aspects of who and what you are.
There are many ways in which we deny ourselves the benefit of our innate power and truth. And for most of us, it goes back to the womb or long before that.
Acceptance is the Bridge to Wholeness
This brings me back to the Mountain Medicine. Be One Thing.
Learning through experience all that I have shared here and more, I now know deep in my soul that what the Mountain was saying is this: accept and allow All that you are to come through and to Be Here Now.
If you are struggling with parts of yourself – seen or unseen, known or unknown – then the answer, the way, the bridge to freedom is to accept yourself fully and completely.
Another word for this is unconditional love.
You do not have to force yourself to love yourself. The kind of love we’re talking about here is not “personal”. It is far greater. Whatever your belief system is, there is likely a powerful way offered within that system to tap into and allow the flow of this love.
If you’re not feeling it, or if you feel disconnected in any way – consider for a moment that there is no lack of flow outside of you… the source is never turned off. The ocean never empty, the river never dry. There may simply be places within yourself where the flow of energy is imbalanced or out of whack. Picture for example a kink in a hose. Pressure builds inside, which can feel and seem terrible – but that doe NOT indicate a lack of love or energy outside of and available to you.
It absolutely is there. It is free. It is pure, abundant, and infinitely intelligent. It accepts you fully and completely. When you are open to it, it flows, and you realize you are a part of it. As such, you too become accepting of yourself fully and completely. You are reminded of your wholeness. Your wholeness reconnects fully with the All That Is.
This connection by itself may not immediately change your physical circumstances, although it’s possible.
The state you find yourself in within the materialized world is the result of certain collective forces and the result of your own momentum.
What this awareness and re-connection can do is shift that momentum into a better direction. Opening and crossing this bridge opens you up to amazing levels of confluence, synchronicity, abundance, and seemingly magical experiences.